Comments on: Suffering as a form of spiritual guidance

By: Phil Steele

Phil Steele — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 21:29:29 +0000

Perhaps the most profound writer on this topic is Viktor Frankl, the concentration-camp survivor who wrote “Man’s Search for Meaning.” The entire premise of that book is that suffering can be a path to growth, or to self-destruction, depending on how we *choose* to respond to it. I highly recommend this short, concise book to anyone interested in psychology or human potential.

By: Austen

Austen — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 00:42:51 +0000

It may be useful to make a distinction between pain and suffering – pain being the raw negative sensation or feeling, and suffering being essentially what happens when we respond to pain unskillfully, like by resisting or denying it, which in turn compounds the pain. “He has a painful condition, but he’s not suffering that much from it” — that makes sense to me. I’ve always found this a helpful distinction. Though I think there are severe types of pain where we can’t help but suffer in response. In extreme experiences, they do kind of blend.

By: Joshua Zader

Joshua Zader — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 18:27:22 +0000

Just a couple quick responses…

Patrick:

- I’d make a distinction between tragedies that befall us and the suffering we experience as a result. The tragedy is outside, the suffering (pain, confusion, anger, fear) is inside. And so it’s not a strictly passive process; it’s a reaction to the circumstances in our life.

- I agree you shouldn’t wait until you suffer to improve yourself. But suffering is like a big flashing neon sign, indicating that this is a golden opportunity for growth and improvement and remembering to open to life rather than closing to it.

- I actually do think the opportunities for growth are greater during suffering. Many of our worst neuroses, the things that hold us back the worst, get cut wide open when we are suffering. So it’s an incredible opportunity to experience them more deeply and heal them.

Melissa:

- I don’t think I’m glorifying suffering, but I’m certainly acknowledging its profound role, in contrast to the common tendency to minimize it or ignore it as much as possible.

- Yes, I think we should attempt to avoid suffering, but we should be careful to do so by opening to its significance and role in our personal growth, rather than by trying to minimize it or repress the feelings of suffering.

- I’m neutral on the subject of suffering “with” other people. I have no opinion about whether someone should seek it out. But when someone I love is suffering, it certainly opens me in much the same way that my own suffering opens me.

By: Melissa

Melissa — Wed, 06 Jan 2010 12:57:31 +0000

One, suffering shouldn’t be glorified. Two, suffering can but isnt necessary to create compassion and character. Three, should we attempt to avoid suffering? What causes it?

I think this question is much easier to deal with sitting at one’s keyboard than lying in the street, in the hospital, in a jail cell, etc. Should we take action to alleviate the suffering of others? Should we suffer “with” them?

By: patrick stephens

patrick stephens — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 18:58:35 +0000

It seems to me that suffering, like any other state of being, is fundamentally passive. Suffering is something one experiences, it is not something that one does. Suffering (like a lightning strike or snowstorm) may or may not have much value in itself. What matters is the individual’s response to the suffering.

I think that’s what Rand is getting at: the idea that what’s important in life is what you do, not what happens to you. That she might have oversold her thesis should not be surprising. ; )

In that sense, suffering is entirely insignificant; in that the existence of suffering doesn’t signify anything about the person suffering. How a person deals with suffering, however, does signify something.

To be sure, we must take some responsibility for whatever part of our suffering is self-inflicted, but that acceptance of rational responsibility is part of the response, not part of the suffering itself.

So the question may be: does suffering provide good opportunities for growth? Should we prepare ourselves to respond to suffering and take those times–as difficult as they may be–as opportunities for self improvement? Sure. But I don’t see any persuasive reason to wait until I suffer to improve myself. Nor do I think that the opportunities for growth are necessarily greater during suffering than during periods of relative ease and prosperity. It may often seem that way to us, only because when the suffering abates, we experience the difference between our emotional states so keenly. But the rise in the swell may only seem so high because the trough was so low. (It would strike me as exceptionally odd if that measurement was subject to less bias than any other we make.)