Note to the Media: Fathers Are a Good Thing
One of the most incisive things I ever heard from a professor during my years in grad school in clinical psychology was this: “The scarcest resource in the world is a good father.”
Good fathers not only are “there” for kids, but also help create the child’s sense of boundaries, of a container in life — of what is acceptable and unacceptable. Without this, children can feel profoundly lost in the world, operating at a significant disadvantage socially and personally.
So I was very pleased to see this new article in Advertising Age titled “Advertisers: Men Are Not Idiots” (hat tip Instapundit). The article begins:
The way the advertising industry portrays men has drawn increasing scrutiny in both the trade press and the mainstream media. Defenders of the status quo — in which men are depicted as irresponsible fathers and lazy, foolish husbands — are starting to feel outnumbered. It’s an understandable feeling.
After explaining why men are hardly the “privileged class” that modern pundits paint them to be, the article continues:
How fathers are portrayed matters. Fatherlessness is one of the greatest threats our children face. Syndicated columnist Leonard Pitts Jr. recently said: “Twenty-eight percent of American kids ... are growing up in fatherless homes, heir to all the struggle and dysfunction that condition portends. ... Who can deny those [are] appalling numbers[?]”
Among the many ills of fatherlessness are much higher rates of teen drug abuse, crime, pregnancy and school dropouts.
While the advertising industry’s negative depiction of fathers certainly isn’t the cause of fatherlessness, it is part of the problem. In a TV culture like ours, the fact that the only fathers one can see on TV are buffoonish (at best) does influence young people’s perceptions of fathers.
For young men, it makes it less likely they’ll aspire to be fathers, see their own value as fathers or, as Mr. Pitts explains, want to do the “hard but crucial work of being Dad.” For young women, it means they’ll be more likely to be misled into thinking that their children’s fathers aren’t important, that divorce or separation from them is no big deal, or that they should, as is the increasing trend, simply dispense with dad altogether and have children on their own.
The article ends with three constructive suggestions for the advertising industry.
The full article is definitely worth reading.
I definitely think a good father is very important. However, having grown up a significant fraction of my life after my father died at age 9, it doesn’t mean that you are going to have an impoverished childhood if you don’t have one. It simply means you may have more obstacles to overcome and less guidance than if you did have one.
Jim
Jim,
Thanks for your comments. I agree that growing up without a father doesn’t turn children into completely impoverished beings.
I have also noticed, however, that there are unconscious effects which can be hard to quantify or even be aware of much of the time.
I too speak from some personal experience too, by the way. My parents divorced when I was two.
We know the impact on each of us is different ... but in my experience, those who are raised by a good father (which is not really the same as “a father”) have a significant advantage in life that can be hard to even adequately capture in words.
Joshua
I guess I had several uncles that served what might have been the father role at various times in my life. Mom moved to Northwest Iowa and I spent lots of time with my paternal grandparents and Uncle Tom. Later in high school I spent a lot of time with Uncle Dave and he helped set up my college fund. When I finished graduate school, I spent 6 months in Silicon Valley finding my first job at Uncle Keith’s house and playing music on the weekends in San Francisco with Uncle Jarvis. I also spent many of my academic spring breaks at Uncle Jim’s in Seattle. So I have 5 uncles that played a significant role in my life.
It’s weird though, I spent some time in adolescence feeling guilty for not missing my father more, though he was one of the best fathers you could have and spent more time with me up to age 9 than many fathers spend with their children. I felt somehow free to chart my own course without someone looking over my shoulder. I do think we learn behavior by role modeling, however, and that is something you can’t get as much of without a good father.
Jim