Mudita Journal

Psychological Cure for Tendonitis

April 21, 2004 · Filed under: Health, Intellectual
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My good friend Andrew Schwartz told me this story a few months ago. I liked it so much that I asked him to write it down and send it to me. Here it is.

I was twenty-two, and I had had so-called “tendonitis” for a year, with stiff, uncomfortable hands and forearms. I had seen numerous doctors and physical therapists, and was advised by all to be very careful and to severely limit my activities and take breaks very regularly � from practicing, typing, or driving a car.

One day I decided that emotions had accumulated around my condition and that I should look at them closely for the purpose of being self-aware. That evening in bed, I began a process of introspection, asking myself what I felt about my condition.

First awareness that came to mind: I feel anger, frustration, annoyance that my activities are so limited and that I am so incapacitated. Next awareness: at some other level, I enjoy having this condition. With it, I give myself permission to go easy on myself. I don’t drive myself like a slave; I afford myself some kindness. I don’t have to deal with the responsibilties of life. Then, I thought: that’s interesting. I’m sure I could be kind to myself even if I didn’t have tendonitis, and I think I am capable of taking responsibility of my life as well.

Then, I wondered what I would feel like emotionally if I didn’t have tendonitis. I fantasized myself walking down a street without tendonitis. I immediately experienced a wave of anxiety, the anxiety saying, “Oh no! I’m responsible for my life!” Then, a second later, like a switch being flipped, the tension and discomfort in my forearms and hands � which had been chronic for a year � suddenly disappeared in a flash. I couldn’t believe my senses. I did a double take, and then tried making a fist. No tension. I tried the other hand. No tension. I waited a few seconds and tried again. No tension.

At this point, I believe the only thought resonating throughout my being was: Holy Fucking Shit. What if this condition was motivated the whole time?

I went to sleep with that thought, somewhat excitedly wondering whether the tension would still be gone when I woke up.

I get chills just thinking back to it. The next day, I woke up, and there was still no tension. Oh my god! It was amazing! That day, I was very naughty in that I played my bass for a whole whopping ten minutes without taking a break . . . and, afterward, there was still no tension. The next day I typed for fifteen minutes . . . scandalous, but there was still no tension. The next day I played the piano for a half hour while slouching. Still no tension.

Over the next few weeks, I gradually began to normalize my life, cautiously testing out new, previously forbidden behaviors. After a few weeks, I quit my daily exercises, which I found boring. The more I normalized, the clearer my hands and arms felt. I’ve been normal since then.

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  • Graham

    Hey…I’m a musician too…a guitarist…going to music school none the less and I’ve had chronic tendonidous for a year now…I did all the things you had been doing and now i’m running out of resources. I was wondering if there are any other details you could share with me.. As you can probibly guess I dream to vanish this bull shit from inside my arm!… so any guidance or help PLEASE

    Peace Love

    Graham

  • http://www.zader.com Joshua Zader

    Graham, you can get in touch with the author of that piece, Andrew Schwartz, here.

  • Philippe

    I was sorta impressed about what i’ve read, i’m a pianist my arm was hunted since a year by that ungly paralising thing…

    But when I met the love of my life that pain got away gradualy and my life went back to normal…

    BUT! Once It was over, the pain got back… soo what to do now, what other happy thoughts can replace love please dont say Chocolat coz I’ve already gained 5 kgs…

  • Anonymous

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